Mending Broken Lives
by love.u.always.mom
Summary: We all saw what happened when Snape came to Godric's Hollow after the Potters were killed, but this is my imagining of what we didn't see. What would happen when Snape finally remembered baby Harry was there as well? What would he do? - Rated M just to be completely safe, contains dark themes and death. If you recognize it, its not mine. Is not and will never be a Snarry.


**First off, I want to apologize to my Amortentia With A Twist readers, I've been working a lot and the plot bunnies are not being forthcoming. This particular fic popped into my head about 6 am and wouldn't let me go back to sleep until I wrote it.**

**Second, I have no idea how far this will go. It could end up being a full story, it could end up tying into an unposted fic idea or it could remain a one-shot. Your guess is as good as mine. It will remain marked in progress until I am sure it is done. **

**Third, if you recognize it, it's not mine.**

Severus Snape had seen more in his scant twenty-one and a half years than most saw in their entire lifetimes. He had been actively abused by his drunkard muggle father, and passively abused by his coward witch mother, who refused to stand up to his father. He had been tormented by his peers at school and made horrible choices. He had already made the biggest mistake he would ever make in his life by joining the Dark Lord, and defected to become a spy even though discovery would mean his life, in the most torturous of ways.

But what was more, Severus Snape had fallen in love already in his life. An unrequited love, but love nonetheless. He could accept that Lily didn't want him, never had. He had made the wrong choices and they had pushed her away. He could accept that, even if he didn't like it. He could own that. He could even, albeit grudgingly, live with the fact that she had married his sworn enemy. Sure, Potter was arrogant, but after his head had deflated he had become a far better man than Severus could ever be, with the choices he had made.

But despite all of that, everything he had endured at the hands of his father, the Gryffindor pack that made his life hell and even what he had suffered at the hands of the Dark Lord, this moment was by far the worst. As long as Lily was alive and happy, he could swallow his pain. She had married a good, noble man (though he would never admit such a thing aloud), and given birth to a son she adored. She had been happy, she had more than Severus could ever have given her, and for that he could suffer in silence.

But Lily was not alive and well, not any longer. Severus Snape swore he felt his heart stop at the sight of her prone body lying on the floor, the entire side of the house blown out, just like his heart. He felt the tears begin to flow, thick and fast, blinding him as waves of pain threatened to swallow him whole. He barely felt the pain in his knees as he dropped to the floor in front of her. He had given everything, _everything_, to keep her safe, and it was all for naught. Sobs shook his body as he picked her up in blind grief, part of his mind rejecting the fact that she was dead. His hands stroked the hair he had longed to touch in life, but it all felt wrong. She was limp in his arms, her skin cooling slowly as death took hold of her.

It wasn't for nothing that Severus Snape had survived a year spying on the Dark Lord for Dumbledore, and after several minutes he came back to himself, albeit slowly, and stood. The first thing he recognized was a second body, and upon seeing the face Severus nearly dropped to his knees once more. Somehow, some way, the Dark Lord had met his end in this room.

This fact made so little sense that the old mask fell into place automatically, the cunning, Slytherin spy immediately analyzing what was in front of him. It was then that the child's crying, screaming more like, penetrated his brain for the first time. His eyes flew to the child and lit immediately upon the abnormal cut on his forehead, the mark of being brushed with a deadly curse.

Severus began to put the clues together in his mind, looking from Lily to her son and then to the Dark Lord, slowly realizing what must have taken place.

The Dark Lord had no comprehension of love, had never felt the emotion, and as such he had a tendency to overlook its power entirely. He had once mentioned that his mother had coerced his father by means of a love potion, and talented at potions as he was, Severus made the connection quickly. By being conceived under the effects of a love potion, the Dark Lord was entirely unable to feel love, an effect that was widely unknown.

Therefore, he couldn't have anticipated that Lily would put herself between her son and him, though it would mean death. He also could not have anticipated that such a powerful love would have protected the child, and as such, it appeared the tyrant had met his downfall.

Slowly, the baby's screams penetrated his cool, analytical haze, causing a curious combination of annoyance and pity to root itself in the pit of his stomach. On one hand, he loathed the child, both for being unequivocal proof of Lily's rejection and the indirect cause of her death. A sneer curled his lip, but shiny red hair caught his attention once more, and his eyes were drawn to the girl-turned-woman he had loved for more than half of his life. Anger and pity warred within him, as unwilling to mix as oil and water as he contemplated the toddler in the crib. On one hand, the fact that it was alive and she was not made him want to turn away, leave this place, and ignore the child entirely. On the other, though, it was obviously terrified and hurt, not understand what had happened but clearly noticing it's mother was, to him, ignoring him.

It was the thought of his mother, the woman he loved, that made Severus cross the room toward the crib. He had failed her, and miserably at that. He could never take that back, but she had given her life for her son, had loved him in the way his own mother had never loved him. Lily would want him to do now what she could no longer, and take care of her son.

Wounds caused by curses could not be healed completely, the child, _Harry_, he thought to himself, would always have the mark. Some dittany, however, would not go amiss as it would at least temporarily close the wound until it could heal properly. Working as a spy had made Severus even more paranoid than he had been at school, and he now always carried dittany with him, lest he do something to incur his master's wrath.

Curse wounds were abnormally painful, no matter the severity, so Severus made quick work of dripping a small amount of dittany on the cut, making it scab over and dulling the pain a great deal.

Though the pitch had lowered somewhat, the child was still wailing loudly, and beyond treating the wound Severus was quite out of his depth. He had very little experience with children younger than eleven, preferring to sit back as parents cared for their toddlers. It was this that made Severus remember Narcissa Malfoy and her son Draco, who was not much older than the baby in front of him.

Taking cue from the hours he had watched Narcissa with Draco, Severus reached into the crib and gingerly lifted Harry out of it. He snorted to himself when he realized that he could deal with a sociopathic maniac without flinching, but was cowed by a crying toddler. He awkwardly balanced the child on his arm, wondering dimly if he was doing it right as he put his other hand on Harry's back, assuring he wouldn't fall backwards.

The moment the child was held securely in his arms, he stopped crying and regarded Severus with wide, bloodshot green eyes that made his heart ache with loss and the desire to comfort the child. Cursing himself for acting like a sentimental Gryffindor, Severus stared at the child seriously, who stared right back.

"Insolent little brat," he muttered to himself.

"Ma?"

Severus's brow furrowed in confusion as Harry tried to speak. "What?"

"Ma," he said again, more insistent. When this garnered no response, the child grew more distressed. It wasn't until the child repeated himself several times that he understood. "Ma! Ma!"

Severus sighed wearily, and he felt tears flow once more. Of course the child didn't understand, he was too young. When he shook his head, those green eyes welled with tears once more, and Harry began crying again, though not in the frantic, terrified way he had been before. Severus cried too, helpless to his emotions as he held the small child close to his chest, unconsciously shifting his weight from foot to foot in a clumsy rocking motion.

It was a quarter of an hour later when the child stopped crying, and Severus discovered he had gone to sleep, his own robes clutched in tiny fists. He gathered himself once more, and took one last look at Lily before sweeping out of the room.

He made his way to the living room and took a pinch of floo powder from the pot on the mantle, tossing it quickly into the cold fireplace.

"Albus Dumbledore's office, Hogwarts!" He said clearly. Severus stepped into the green flames with Harry still sleeping on his chest, sweeping out of the Potter's home, and away from his love, for the last time.


End file.
